The Cliff

It's weird.

I still know your password
And since I don't want to be stalking you,

For a moment I pretend to be you.

I typed it in,
Searched your photos,
the recent tagged ones where you smiled
Group pictures and laughing comments

I stared at your eyes,
your smiles
and your broad shoulders I have known

Glanced at your hair
those eyebrows,
that nose
that I used to have beside me all the time

I pondered about your height
The way you dress
Those moments the camera caught you candidly

And just stared there, wondering,
saying to myself that this person
This stranger
was once so close to me.

I can't even fathom the kind of closeness
But I know it was extremely close, very very close once upon a time.

There was a time this guy
Opened up my heart.
I rested on his shoulder as we sat on a rock,
Held his hand while we crossed the street,
Screamed at him, drunk and out of control
Desired to hug him tight when he was sad
And in that computer shop we never really used,
but just talked inside with.

That walk outside my home
That waiting right outside your village
That jeepney ride where you almost fell asleep
That night we slept beside each other

It almost felt surreal
I don't know if I forced myself to remember
Or actually blocked the memory
But it was vivid, but it was just that, a memory
that I wasn't even sure happened

Because at this distance between us
It is close to impossible to ever think
We were once together