Dear God,

It gets a lot more confusing. It's so confusing.

I really like him now. I don't know if it's just hormones, or if it's the slow realization of a denied fact. But I like him, God.

I don't understand why I like him at all. If I think about it, there really should be no reason to. But he is also an amazing person, and I love the way he cares for me even when he is not expected to.

Why is he not pursuing me? That's a question I don't ask. I'm not sure if I want him to, because a lot about our friendship are full of questions. I just know that I care about him deeply and his annoying awkwardness before are cute for me now.

I want to be around him all the time. I want to invite him for ice cream, just the two of us. I want to abandon all the caution and just be with him for a while. He's the best person to talk to. He listens. He asks. He would like to fix me. And I don't have to be strong around him at all.

He is the most undiscovered awesome person I have known for three years.

And not being with him makes me sad.

Help me in my confusion, please,
Sam