I guess above all... this is what I really miss:
Who I was when I was with you
The hundreds of photos with us together
Of changing faces, smiles, bodies and chemistry
The thoughts we processed together
the complexities we were familiar of,
the rhymes and rhythms that inspired us
and confused us
The innocence and brightness of childhood that we shared.
I guess those are one of the heaviest reasons why I couldn't forget you.
They are just so embedded in my heart,
in my entire system.
They are a big part of me that I cannot possibly extract, expel or dispense quite easily
They cling to my memory, my persona, the deepest chambers of my heart
and will be buried but unforgotten there for as long as I live.
I just wonder if this is a mere dead star.
Whatever I hold with you is a thing of the past,
an issue of yesterday,
that might probably be extinct by now
with no way to be revived.
It is much like a sudden death, where you can't even stop the tears from falling
Because you know that things will not return to what it was before
And that you have to drink that sobering thought
that people change and move on
and find new friends that would inevitably replace you
and you would get tired of being broken hearted
that you would eventually... lose hope.
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