Chirpy

I hate your chirpy voice,
your high-pitched cheerful "hi"
Your exclamation-pointed post
with an emoticon of a wild smile

I hate your capital letters
seemingly energetic and high
The way you are friends with everybody
but always just acquaintances with them

I want your low voice back
the way your eyes sleepily wonder as we talk
I miss your tiredness and passivity
how you fall asleep in just a wink

I want your tearful eyes back
that night when we watched our movie
the way you seem to hug and push me away at the same time
and the preciousness of your attention

I want your introversion back
the way you don't give shit too easily
the walls you build and your aloofness to everybody
and the secret hole I've managed to carve right there

Now the hole is gone, and replaced with a big door,
that allowed everybody in,
but I don't know the way
seem to have lost the key

Because where the secret hole used to be
is just burned at the back of my memory