Be Careful with My Heart

I don't want to go through the same process again,
of hurting, crying, longing, and suffering.
I don't want to let my guards down and show you in
to my brokenness, pasts, passions, and weaknesses.
I don't want to be vulnerable and to let you see the bare side
which is soft to the touch, raw, sensitive, fragile.

I know your hands are gentle and clean.
I know they have not held a heart before.
I know it is possibly unable to hurt a heart.
But I just can't afford to give it you.
You might abandon it, you might break it,
you might let it go, you might squeeze it,
you might give it away, you might wear it out.

And it's not you that's the problem.

I can't seem to trust anybody in this.
Even someone as kind and honest as you.
Please understand that it takes time.
I'm praying you will be able to wait.
I'm praying that I'll be willing to wait as well,
to keep considering, keep praying,
watching, waiting...

I'm both appreciating how you prayed for me last night
as if replacing old memories with much better ones.
And a bit frustrated as well, because more and more
I am giving you the full weight of my mistrustful heart.