Buses and Trains

Dear Mom,

I'm writing to tell you that I have fallen in love with a boy.

Not just an ordinary boy. But... well, a boy.

I wish I could tell you he has a car, graduated a marketable degree, or has big plans in his life that could assure me of a great future. I know, because that's my date list. Unfortunately Mom he doesn't quite fit in my old picture.

He is handsome, yes. But I didn't notice it at first. In fact I spent my whole college years practically ignoring him. Everybody knows he's good looking. But you won't notice it because he is quite weird. You see, he is smart Mom. He doesn't need to study. And although looks and brains might have made him a good contestant, he is not what he seems. He has a lot of problems underneath, Mom.

His parents must have been stuck in their adolescence. He can't remember a Christmas like that of in the Coke commercials where there is family and food and gifts. Most of the time his parents are out drinking with their friends, leaving him and his sister to the TV. No gifts or food. Not even parents.

When he was in sixth grade he isolated himself and was bullied. At one time he asked every girl in his class to dance and he was turned down by every one. Nobody gave him a chance.

In college he made it to the best school and was doing brilliant at school without even trying. But his parents won't provide enough for him. His scholarship was recently cancelled and he has a huge debt in the student loan. He hasn't finished school yet Mom and it seems there is no hope for him to return this summer.

He has a lot of personal issues of rejection. In fact I am amazed at how often he tells these to me, because they are not the most impressive topics during a date. He doesn't know how to manage money and he hasn't shared much to his friends.

I know this is problematic Mom. You, and even I, would expect myself to fall for someone who at least hs ambitions for himself and has finished his studies and will be a good provider or something. But I think I have a particular liking for this one.

He always walks me home even when he didn't need to and even when I insist he could go ahead. He notices the little things like me not finishing my food. He sits next to me at the bus because I didn't want to sit with strangers. He actually wants to listen to me, and actually wants to hear the ugly parts that I have managed to conceal. He tells me of his admiration in ways nobody has tole me before. And I could feel m heart fluttering even though we don't say a word.

I know this is immature and impractical Mom, but I think I like this guy. I can't even admit it to my friends because they will probably disapprove. I'm career=driven and ambitious and he is the opposite of me. Not just in the attitude Mom. He likes dogs and hates cats. He's good in computations and suck at grammar. He's not exactly sociable and he could count his friends by one hand. He grew up in video games and likes weird music. I don't know what happened Mom. Why we could be so different but I could be having crush on him anyway.

At least I am coming to you just confessing this. I don't really expect you would ever approve of him. But I guess I just want to say, even in private, that I actually like him. I rarely show it. But just watching him now, someone whom I didn't even know existed, I think life has become much better, brighter, and warmer with him around.

I'm happy.

Love, Sam