Hopeless

So... you like her? Do you actually like her?

I wish I could tell you how much I loved you.
I don't know what's holding me back.
Is it that I feel that I deserve to be loved in a certain way?
That you haven't given me much and I'm asking for more?

Is it because I am afraid that it will end up in vain?
If you have not fought for me and have abandoned me,
will it still be worth the fight?
Is that what love is supposed to be?

If I exert effort and still failed,
would I have blamed myself for not moving on quickly?
That at the first sign of heartbreak, I didn't learn my lesson?
That I am so stupid because everything is written and yet I ignored it?

If I exert effort and had you,
Will I be satisfied?
Is there some assurance that everything will be all right?
That it will be a happy ending?
Do happy endings ever exist?

If I exert effort, will you be worth it?
Will you reciprocate?
Will you love me with all you are honestly and not just because
you pity me or have no better choice?

If I exert effort, will I be closing my doors to someone who will love me more?
Would I have missed the chance to finally love and be loved?
Will I ever be a beloved instead of a forever lover?

Do I really deserve someone better?
Do I really choose you?
Will my wounds heal eventually?
Will I resolve that I do everything for you eventually?

I am so uncertain
But please, I hope that she doesn't overtake me
Because of a years' worth of hesitation.

Oh love, will we ever end up to be together?