You're Leaving

Out of the five semesters before that we have known each other
This was the only time when I truly have gotten to appreciate you.
Your heart
And this semester, you say as you walked me quietly home
that you're leaving.

I expected it.
I just didn't expect that it would happen sooner.

December, which is the sweetest month of all
will be bitter this year as you say goodbye, never to be seen soon.

A few weeks ago we were talking about
how I was about to graduate and not ready for the world.

It was followed by week upon week of eating dinner and just talking with company
Combo 4 in the kiosk,
Treating us to Ridges
Bringing sinigang to school
Cooking spaghetti for the parties
Finally I was able to see through you.

You were once so distant
and now that you have just gotten near,
You will move miles away soon.

I have gotten used
to having your around.
To exchanging jokes and playing cards
I wish there could be more time for those idle moments when
all we do is cherish the moment and take it slow
lest it flies past us like it threatens to.

I wish you could stay because I didn't want you to leave.
But I didn't want you to stay and waste time.
As a friend, how bittersweet it truly is
To want to listen when you don't like what you're hearing
To support when you are afraid for the person
To say goodbye when it would leave you empty.

This is part of friendship,
and I'd like to believe that all those months we came to know each other
weren't spent in vain.

I wish you well,
and although I will miss how you play the guitar in the afternoon,
how you bully me when playing football
how you were the first churchmate that ever got inside our house

I remember how "Fast Car" was our favorite song.
Those nights when the four of us suddenly come together at the karaoke
just because of it.

It's so funny now that I realize it
that the song was almost about you.

You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so you could fly away?
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight and live and die this way


We live in such perilous times when we are at our turning points.
I wonder what will happen the next time I see you.
Will you finally have the passion to finish school?
Will I learn how to cook as well as you do?
Will you be able to expand your ministry?
Will I be able to commit even as I work?

How strange it is to be thinking this way
and knowing that it may turn worse.
But nonetheless, we're still friends.