It's you

On a night of emotional instability, you start winning over me.

It is you that I crave to talk to.
It is in your shoulders that I want to cry.
It is in your presence that I want to break.
It is before your eyes that I want to be weak
It is your hands that I wanted to hold.
I crave for you at my lowest point.

And yet at might highest I ignore you at best.
Watch you gaze at me longingly from a distance
Let you wonder if I ever am caring for you
Ignore the awkward effort to talk to me
And push you away when you need me,

And yet, and yet, when I need you...
I can't even admit it to myself.
That I actually need you.
That I actually want you.

You have me,
at my worst.