The kind of man I'm not looking for is... a man.
There is nothing more turning off than a man who is so dependent on others and is so insecure of himself. I'm not looking for perfection and arrogance. I just want quiet self-assurance of an identity that although circumstances are not perfect, he will still try to make the best out of them.
He has to love his family and will be willing to do everything for them -- his mother, his siblings. I am not demanding diploma from top universities and international grants. I'm not after an academic. I want a sober concern for the people who loved him.
I want him to work hard, to persevere, not out of self-consciousness, self-ambition, or economic security, but to express himself, to relish his skills, to develop himself into a better person. To work with his hands, his mind, his heart, and soul at the same time. To be busy and be working satisfyingly.
I want him to have bigger goals than me. I want him to see our relationship as a means to achieve a greater goal. To lead me by the hand into building something that will last powerfully. I want him to lose himself into this vision -- this God mission. And I would gladly take second place, his right hand, for him.
I want him to find strength in vulnerability. To be lenient but loving. To be strong but needy. And I will gladly provide him with all the love and nurturing that his heart needs. To be a hero's home, a fighter's refuge, a warrior's haven. I will gladly fulfill all the roles demanded of me in the name of him.
This is the kind of man I am looking for.
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