Climax

Dear Mark,

I want to break up with you. I know we're not exactly together and you did not exactly court me. But you know what I mean. The kissing, making out, holding hands, and dating aren't exactly hobbies of friends.

We're living a lie. I hold your left hand, you text her with your right. You tell me all about the negative stuff there is about her, and yet you never choose me. You never stay. You still keep that boundary between you two because he is your Option A and I am your Option B.

I have let myself be vulnerable to you. Have allowed you in my life. Have allowed you to see the tears and to kiss the lips that have not kissed anybody else's. I have even allowed you into the world of my friends. Yet you still do not see that as enough reason to choose me.

If you like her for her consistency, I could be consistent with you. I could give you the world. The gifts you never received. The services you never experienced. The companionship you always sought. But you won't give me a chance because you are too busy spending time with a person you have described as a "nagger" or "clingy". What does that amount to me? That the nagger and clingy woman is still worth so much more than the one who will wait for you?

I like you and I really don't have a problem with you, except on that aspect. We get along really well that we might as well be soulmates. We never run out of things to talk to and things to do. But we cannot live this lie forever. It will, at some point, stop violently or fade gradually and I just want to be ahead of that. I want to make a clean break before we start losing respect for each other.

And so I'm choosing to take the fall. Let's not see each other for a while.