Restraint

As you wipe my ice-cream splattered hand with your hanky
As I hold your arms under the umbrella on a rainy walk home
You sit so closely and sleep next to me
Make me listen to beautiful songs, give me new movies.

The way you stick your skin against mine
And the way you pat my head as if I was a child
The way you complain when I don't ask for help
Told me I was different from the rest.

How long shall this go?
How long until you find someone else and move on?
How long until the attention you feed me will wane
And you go ahead to find another girl?

I don't want to get used to this.
I wish I won't get used to you.
But I guess I already am secured with you
And I'm just so afraid that you'll leave.

But you have to know that what I am looking for is different
It is not just romance or intimacy, but true love.
I wish you could know that I want something that will last
That I will not trade that hope for the smaller things.

So even if your attention and service means so much to me
I want to tell you that I value so much to lure you
Into a trap of emotion highways free of commitment.
I am not who I used to be. This time, I want to make a difference.